I love my days, and I love my nights even more, especially when I am deep in sleep. Some nights I can't wait to wake up and hold my little boy, most nights I lay awake listening to his breaths and watch him stir-- I wait until he cries for me.And some (most) nights, I find myself shoving his pacifier in his mouth, just so I can sleep just a few moments longer. My days are finally becoming more routine. We are both usually up for the day around 6:30, Just as Marshall leaves for work,We have a family prayer-which Marshall always says.And everyday I am grateful for this moment, it helps me get through the day knowing that as a family we have asked that I will know what I should do for us that we may be happy and comfortable, and that I may know how to care for Ezra. Everyday I notice a new spot of chub on my baby boy, whether it be in his little legs, or his little arms, I am proud. I squeeze and kiss his little body knowing that because of my diligent efforts in caring for him, he is growing healthy and strong. It would be selfish for me to think that because of me his heart beats, because I know it is through God's grace that blood flows through our veins and we are able to inhale and exhale with every breath, I just love that I had a part in creating another spirit for God.
Ezra started smiling just recently and my world stops when this happens. I call for everyone to "Come!! LOOK! He's Smiling!" and I never want it to fade. My goals these days are to keep him smiling more than crying. Today was a success, but I can't say that about the rest.
Marshall and I are realizing what it actually takes to be parents, and a couple with a child. We are recognizing that being a happy couple is a lot harder when there is child. We are understanding that one on one time is important and weekly date nights are a must-- even though they've been nights in with a movie- and me snoozing half way through it. I am grateful for Marshall and what a wonderful marriage we have. We find new things constantly that we need to work on and improve on, within ourselves and our relationship. I know there are alot of things I need to improve on as a wife and as a mother. Marshall is learning patience ;)
I hope to get back into blogging a little more now that I feel like I have this 'mom thing' in control.-- We will see how long that lasts.