Sunday, April 3, 2011

A Year Ago Today.

First picture taken of Ezra. 10.28.10

A year ago today, my life was changed.
I remember the day as if it were yesterday.
I had a dream in the early morning of April 3rd.
This I also remember.
In my dream I dreamt that I had taken a pregnancy test and immediately it said PREGNANT across the tiny little screen. This woke me up instantly, Not because in my dream I was pregnant but because I thought I peed the bed. (Seriously. You know you have to pee on those pregnancy sticks, right?, Well, my dreams are very life like ;)

Then, once I was awake I had this sweet impression to go and really take a pregnancy test for myself.

I remember hearing a calm voice say to me, "If you are ready to know, go ahead"

Now, I should preface by saying a few things. Just a couple days previous to this dream, Marshall and I were noticing how incredibly emotional I had been. I was experiencing really random and uncomfortable cramping that never normally has happened and I was just plain.exhausted.
Marshall's birthday is April 4th and we decided that we would take a Pregnancy test on his Birthday, just for the heck of it. (We had taken a number of them before and since they were always negative and the doctor told us it would be difficult for us to have babies, we weren't exactly expecting a positive)

Now, Back to the morning of.
After receiving an impression to decide to take the test if I was ready, I was having this battle within myself. It was barely 3 am. I was awake and was replaying the crazy dream I just had, almost peeing the bed and the impression to take a test... I kept thinking to myself, "I can't take the test, it's not Marshalls Birthday. And we said we would do it on his birthday!" It was killing me. I jumped out of bed, went to the bathroom and did what I needed to do.

I'm not kidding when I say this.
 I set the stick on the counter and shut my eyes barely awake and when I opened them a second later. I almost died.
I stared.
and died again.


Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

I ran into the bedroom, shaking Marshall awake.With tears in my eyes and my heart pounding out of my chest, I was yelling and shaking the stick in the air, "What does this say!?" "What does this say, Marshall?!"

He grunted and squinted his eyes, not having a clue of what was going on.. read the stick and said with a  calm,raspy, low voice. "Pregnant"... "pregnant.." .. "Pregnant"

After hearing him say it 3 times. I still couldn't believe this was real.

I crawled up beside him in the fetal position and cried. I was so scared. It was something we both wanted so bad, and now that it was happening... Now what?!

Well. I never went back to bed that morning, I was awake for the rest of the day.

And the rest is History.

Today, I stared at Baby Ezra all day remembering this special day last year.