Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Day21//StayAtHomeMama



Ezra crawled up on my lap as I tried to lounge comfortably in the morning sun. 
He laid his head back on the arm rest and stretched his body over my legs. He was comfortable. He kept snuggling in and I could tell that even as close as our bodies were, in his eyes, we weren't close enough. (My belly was keeping him from getting closer) He laid on me for longer than I knew a toddler was actually capable. I treasured this moment, especially because in a few weeks I will have to share my lap between two little boys who both need my love.

This quite possibly may be one of the largest blessings in my life. 
I am a stay at home mother. 
I never thought that I would ever be a mother who stayed at home and raised her children. My mother worked, and her mother worked.   Being raised in a home where the mother is the main provider it never occurred to me that being at home and raising my own children was ever an option.

After much prayer and preparation on our part, the decision was made that I would stay at home and raise our children.This was far from easy for me to grasp. In fact, it killed me to pass on clients who I had been doing for years and coming to the realization that my job and priority was now to be done under my own roof.

Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs laid upon the heads of women. Being a Stay at home mother is a blessing and a privilege that I am deeply grateful for. I know that this isn't an option in many other homes, and I have a deep rooted respect for parents who both work to provide for their children. I have much admiration for them and all that they do.

I have also been blessed in being able to work while I can in the salon that we built in our home in the summer of 2011. Having a salon in the home has allowed me to be able to have the best of both worlds. I can still take some time and continue to do what I absolutely love, make a little income on the side to help out and also be at home with my children.

I know that Ezra depends on me for everything and I know that he will continue to depend on me. Marshall gets emotional when he talks about how his mother was always there for him and he has never hesitated to share how much it has always meant to him that she was always there to listen, to offer advice and to help him whenever he needed it.
It is rewarding to know that I can have the same influence on my children.

My days are FAR from easy. They are hard. These may be the hardest days that I may experience as a mother. My days at home involve different types of challenges but also exciting adventures. I feel like I front row seats to Ezra's life and my heart doesn't have the capacity to hold the amount of love that I feel for him knowing that he is learning all I have taught him.

I am beyond grateful for this blessing to be a stay at home mother.