Not because it was what I had planned, because my plans were nothing like what actually happened. Today went exactly how it was supposed to, according to Eli and the Angels.
If you are ready for a birth story. Get ready. It is a good one.
I gave birth to Ezra 4 weeks and 1 day early. With that said, my doctor made it a point to check me often and take precautions so I would not have another early delivery. I took watch over the amount of my braxton hicks, drank gallons of water and had a weekly progesterone injection which is supposed to keep me from going (any) earlier. My pregnancy was easy. I was comfortable for almost all of it. Until yesterday.
I made it through the terrible road conditions to my 35 week appointment. My doctor thought we should check my cervix just for good measure to make sure I wasn't dilated like I was last time at the same point in my pregnancy. She checked and I was dilated to a 1 and 50% effaced. Which is really no big deal. I left feeling assured that I would actually make it another 2 weeks.
Once I made it home, I was feeling achy in my pelvis and overly tired. (Unusually over tired) My dear friend, Whitney who watched Ezra for me so I could make it to my appointment stayed a little longer and let me take a nap. I needed it.
I was still feeling a bit off, and didn't think too much about it. I figured it was from the cervical check and thought I would feel better in the morning.
I went to bed and crashed. I dreamed interesting dreams and woke up at the usual times to stretch and use the bathroom. I remember looking in the mirror at my oddly shaped belly and cocked my head to the side. I thought it looked funny. I put my hand on it and imagined the baby being cramped to one side from my awkward sleeping positions and my pillow placement.
I woke up around 6:45 and felt sick and
I hopped into the shower, I wanted to get ready for the day before Ezra woke up.
Ezra had a play date at 9 am and I had a couple hair appointments.
I noticed quickly that I was having abnormally painful and consistent contractions. You know, the kind you have to stop and grab the wall with your fingernails, kind.
As I monitored them, I noticed they were every 3 minutes, lasting a minute or so. I sent a group text to my sister,mom and Marshall. I told them how I was feeling and asked if someone could come over and help me out. I didn't actually think I was having REAL contractions.Yet.
I cancelled my appointments after grabbing walls, breathing hard and moving slow. I packed Ezra's little backpack with a pb and honey(bear) sandwich, some apple slices, pretzels and animal crackers. Packed diapers, wipes,water and milk. Just in case.
I grabbed my prepacked (adorable) carry on and threw in my laptop, camera and toothbrush, oh! and my flatiron, duh.
My mom was at my door and ready to help me get ready to go. It was too early, not to mention, obvious what we needed to do, the plan was to head straight to the hospital.
I looked outside at my dirty van and remembered I had forgotten to put windshield washer fluid in it. hmpph.. My mom buckled Ezra in the backseat while I opened up the hood and filled her up. I prayed that the roads would be better than they have been this week and we would sail smoothly there.
The roads were smooth. My contractions were the opposite.
I felt the need to push the closer we got to the hospital.
I wanted to push and I couldn't help it.
My mom was coaching me on my breathing and Ezra was panting along with me. I could tell he was concerned. My hands were numb from breathing wrong, it was obvious I wasn't getting enough oxygen throughout my body. I was breathing and not breathing all wrong trying to keep the baby inside and tried to keep it together.
Once we made it to the hospital, I rolled myself out of the car and walked slowly through the emergency doors. A nice receptionist asked me if I needed a wheelchair, I resisted. But really should have said yes. Once I was in the room. I pulled off my coat and my boots and silently cried and tried hard to remain comfortable. I kept thinking what a big baby I was being and tried to pull myself together.
An annoying woman walked in and made a stupid remark and I (imagined) wrapped my fingers around her neck and squeezed. I was losing control. I almost felt like something else had taken over me, my mind and my personality.
It felt like forever before a real nurse came in and checked me and when she did I wanted to hug her. I was half on and half off the bed at this point. I was in my gown and ready to be told I was dilated to something, other than 1.
She checked me right away.
I could feel her move her digits... from 1....to 5... to....
"You are at a 9 1/2 and you your cervix is gone"
"Let me know if you need to push"
"I DO need to push" I managed to squeal out during a contraction.
she threw my jacket, my dirty boots and my balled up clothes/undergarments on top of me and pushed my bed quickly through the hall. I was panting heavily and ridiculously.
I wanted an epidural. But knew there was no chance at this point of having any type of pain relief.
I asked anyways, and she calmly
lied and said there may be something they could do.
Once I was in the room, she said "Forget the IVs, forget it!" and the bed was ripped apart and my feet were in the stirrups. Nurses for the baby flooded the room, a kind doctor's face shone in between my legs and I had a nurse at each knee.
Marshall wasn't there.
I squeezed my eyes closed as tears rolled down my cheeks and I repeated out loud,
"I am so scared.... I am So scared"
The nurses rubbed my knees and assured me there were people there to help me do this, and that I COULD do this. They reminded me of how tough I was.
and I believed them.
(My mom and Ezra were in the hallways- and Marshall was racing to get there- my Dad had actually called him to tell him to get moving. My mom and I didn't think things were going to happen as fast as they did, and we didn't have a chance to call him)
"You have got this! Push!!"
Pushhhhh! There you go!! He is moving!...You are pushing him...
Just like that.... Pushhhh!!!"
It was so empowering to have this small room packed with women cheering me on.
I pushed with all my might. I yelled. and I yelled good.
I felt like a woman from the movies at this point.
My body shook from the adrenaline and I am sure it was an ugly sight to see.
The feeling was exactly heaven and hell colliding. It was exactly the pain that Satan wanted me to feel, giving and allowing a spirit to have a body in this world and Heavenly Father winning by blessing it to happen.
I wanted Marshall there so badly, and during my last push as I grabbed the backs of my knees and held my breath and pushed, I could literally feel Marshall's hands on my head giving me a blessing. Even though, he physically wasn't there. It was a miracle.
The baby's body made it out perfectly, and the nurses cheered and moved quickly.
"9:44"my nurse said to the other nurses and to me.
And I looked at the clock, it was the time he entered the world.
I heard him cry and it was the most comforting sound my ears had heard all morning.
I could feel my spirit fall back into place and I looked around the room in shock.
There was no way that all of that just happened to me.
I felt no emotion. I could barely smile. I could barely feel my body.
The nurses that moved quickly were suddenly in slow motion.
They measured him, weighed him and checked all of his stats.
For being 5 weeks early, he was in outstanding condition.
99% Apgar- 5 lbs.6 oz. 19inches long
He was prepped and ready for his arrival, whether I was or not.
I was holding him in my arms when Marshall walked into the room.
I saw him look me and then at his son cradled in my arms.
I heard him say, "wow!-- I missed it!"
and he quickly assured me that he was praying for me the whole way....
I already knew that. I could feel his prayers.
Elias James Abrahamson.
WE love YOU!
We are SO excited that you are in our family and that you came when you did.
12/12/12 couldn't have been a cooler day to arrive.
We will love you forever and always.
I cannot wait to tell you more about Ezra and Eli's first meeting and share more photos.
Thank you so much to all those who love and support my family and I. I can feel all of your love and prayers for our family at this time and we are so incredibly blessed to have such amazing people surrounding us in our lives. We cannot thank you enough.