Monday, December 17, 2012

//My Monday


I have been in the hospital for 5 days... and there is really no sign as to when we will be discharged. At this point, I am more than ready to head home but I know that Eli needs to be here a little while longer and this is okay by me. I want his little body to be ready for all the little things it will experience under our watch and care as parents. 
Even though this experience of being in the special care unit is very much like our last (with Ezra) it has never been easy. 

My days have completely melted together from being up around the clock.

-Today, I nursed Eli.
-I pumped milk for Eli.
-I snuggled Eli.
-I showered.
-Stared at my super swollen (c)ankles. I sulked a little.
-Marshall and Ezra snuggled Eli.
-Family visited and snuggled Eli.
-I nursed Eli
-I pumped for Eli.
-I napped.
-I ate.
-My dear friend, Michelle, snuggled Eli 
-I nursed Eli.
-I pumped milk for Eli.
-I snuggled Eli....
etc. 

I plan on exclusively nursing Eli. I will not allow the nurses to ever offer a bottle to him unless absolutely necessary. All the nurses have been giving me the "thumbs up" and high fives on my milk production. 

They even asked if I could send some home because their freezer was being taken over by all my pumped milk. They put it in a large baggie and I danced proudly into my hospital room to show it off to Marshall. He laughed, hugged me twice and told me how much he misses me at home.

I am dying being away from Ezra and Marshall. I want to squeeze Ezra's guts out when I see him and I love it when he holds me tight and cries for me when he leaves me. 
Marshall is doing an amazing job being a 'single' dad at home with Ezra. Ezra may not be on his (super rigid) routine or on his regular meal times/plans, but I know that he is being loved and cared for by his daddy who is working so hard to keep things together for his little family.
I love him so much. And I know how hard this must be for him emotionally. 

My mom has also been amazing. Thankfully she has had the last couple days off work and has been able to watch Ezra for us while Marshall coaches. She has also ran errands for us, cleaned our floors, done our laundry and even brought me dinners. She is a saint and I can't thank her enough. 

We have had many visitors in the hospital and it has been so great to sit and visit with all of them. I am sure eventually I will be done retelling my birth story but I am happy to share it and I can't help but get emotionally each time I share it.  I love my friends so much and I can't even begin to tell you how grateful we are to everyone for your love and support and most of all your prayers. We feel them.

I plan on tending to every single one of Eli's needs and help coordinate Marshall and Ezra's plans to mine and Elias'. We are praying to be discharged before Christmas. Being together as a family in our own home will be the greatest gift of all this Christmas.