Thursday, March 14, 2013

And then.. this happened. (The post you may have been waiting for?)

No one and no thing can prepare a person enough for the amount of emotion and heartache that can happen within the walls of a home. When becoming a wife and a mother, I would have appreciated someone pulling me aside and telling me that my heart will never beat the same again, and that my brain will never think the same. Not just because of the lack of sleep or the fact that we don't get out as much as we used to, but simply because now we have children who rely on us and whose worlds revolve around just the mere existence of their parents being there for them in every move they make.

Exactly one month ago, I had had a regular busy morning and afternoon with my boys. I remember it clearly. We went to a friend's to help her with her her kids, and we also went out to lunch. I was feeling on top of the world because I was able to keep everything together. I felt like super mom. My kids were healthy and finally on a good routine. I was getting a little more rest at night, and Marshall's swim season was coming to an end. Things were finally coming together and we were looking forward to this new year together as a family.

Marshall came home after swim practice at his regular time. He walked in the door, was greeted excitedly by Ezra who waited all day to see him. Marshall had dropped his things at the door and wrapped his big arms around his boy. I watched as I swung Eli from side to side. I noticed that Marshall had brought his big bag of chips home and thought for a second it was weird and kept on enjoying the moment with Marshall home for the evening.

I hurriedly tried to get everyone to the table for dinner before it got cold, but no one was moving. I felt like no one in the room was listening. Marshall sat on our big sofa and even took Eli for me while I finished a couple things up. I watched over my shoulder as Marshall stared at Eli. Eli stared back. Ezra played at his feet and I couldn't stop watching.

My sister sent me a text about a man who had sent flowers to his wife every Valentines day since they were first married. The Valentines after he passed, she received a bouquet of roses from her late husband. He had paid in advance for the next so many years of her life, so she would always know that she was loved and remembered by him, even though he was no longer with her. This of course made me cry. I even grabbed my chest and shed a tear over this adorable sweet story of love. Marshall asked what was wrong, and I quickly tried to pretend I wasn't so soft and asked him if he wanted to read it.
He did, then I noticed he seemed moved by it, too.
I thought I noticed him getting a little emotional about it and asked him jokingly if he was crying.

After looking harder at him I realized he was.

"Babe, are you crying?" I asked him again to confirm what my eyes were seeing.
"I have been crying all day.." he said.

"WHY?" I asked 

I lowered my face to his. Ezra was by his side and Eli was in his arms. I put my hand on his shoulder and tried to look into his eyes. "Why have you been crying? What happened " I asked again. I already knew the answer. I had seen this look in his eyes before.

"Marshall, did you lose your job?"-  I didn't want to ask. I didn't want to know the answer, but knew I needed to hear it.

He slowly nodded his head yes and clenched his eyes closed. 
I immediately dropped to my knees.
"I am so sorry.... "- I made out through my tears.

"We JUST had a baby! How could they do this to us?"

"What are we going to do?" I asked through my hands as they covered my face.

Ezra jumped off the couch and played quietly around us. He knew there was something going down between his parents and he was watching us crumble before him.

Marshall calmly tried to answer my questions but his answers are still foggy to me.

We sat and cried together for most of that evening.  
Questions spun through his head and I heard every single thing that went through his brain. 
He is someone who needs to talk it all out for it to make sense and I hear all of it.

His company laid him off because there just wasn't enough work coming through the door. They had nothing but wonderful and amazing things to say about him and even wrote him an outstanding letter of recommendation for future job opportunities. This made no sense for us. How could they let him go but know he is a great professional and a great man?

I knew why.

It was simple. There was something bigger and better for our family. 
My perspective stayed this way and never moved. I know that there is a plan for our little family and things need to be shaken up once in a while to get that plan into action. Unfortunately, sometimes there comes a lot of pain, heartache, and much needed faith in the process.

I commend Marshall for his diligence in looking for work. He immediately started making calls, sending resumes and set up interviews. He was excited to hear back from companies who were hiring and we were excited to send him out the door to find us a job.

After only a week or two of looking, Marshall was offered a job. Even though were glad to have something on the table, this wasn't exactly where he was expecting to work. This company wasn't his first choice and he continued to make calls and set up interviews at other companies. Other former co-workers who were laid off the same time as Marshall were being hired on at various companies and Marshall felt like he was running out of places to look.

When his time ran out and he needed to respond back about the offer he was given at the not-so- ideal place of work he sat down at his big desk and began to write his response. He was filled with questions and doubt and felt like his future had already been decided for him and for our family. Half way through his email, he felt like he needed to stop and write to another company.
 He felt like he should write a company that worked for right out of college. A company he immediately admired at that time and still looked to with hope to go back.  
He sent a short email catching them up on his most recent given offer, swim season and family details and in only minutes he received an email back. 
An email that turned his (somewhat) gloomy future into a very hopeful one. 
The email back said, 
"Can you come in this afternoon, we would like to make you an offer?"

I happened to be downstairs just moments after he received it, and Marshall was literally jumping out of his skin. His smile was contagious and I  hadn't seen a real smile on his face in weeks. 
I couldn't help but share the joy he felt in that moment. 

Marshall responded fast, they set a time to meet, groomed himself perfectly and was out the door in a flash. 
I waited at home with our two little boys until he got home.

We watched out of big window as he pulled into the drive way. We could see his face through his car window and his smile was stretched as far as it could reach.

He found us a job!

We feel so tremendously blessed at this time.
We never gave up hope in our Heavenly Father that we wouldn't 
find anything and he surely provided a way for our family.

We were happy to have Marshall home with us for the last month. Ezra is more attached to his daddy than I thought could even be possible. Marshall and I were able to see a lot more of each other and were able to really sit down and talk everyday. Ezra wasn't the only one who became attached. 

We will all be adjusting to life without Marshall home next week and we will miss him!
We are so proud of Marshall and so excited for him to start his new job!

Congratulations, Marshall and Thank you for all you do for our family.

We love you!
*As I always say-- the only thing in our life that we can plan for, are our lunches. Peanut butter and honey sandwiches are always on the menu- when everything else that happens in life is not.