I lived a life before the life I have now. I was happy with the life that I lead- for what I used to think happiness was. I was strong, I was independent, I was making decisions that would not only affect me for that moment in time but for the years that would lay ahead of me. I looked to my parents, and my gut for help when I couldn't find a way myself. I sometimes look back at the old me and see a spiritless, wanderer who knew that I was capable of so much more.
I feel like I am now coming to know what happiness really means. I am stronger than I ever imagined and I know that for me, being independent wasn't always a strength but was also my weakness. I needed to trust and rely on my Savior and the people closest to me more and I needed to share my feelings with those that I cared about. I look back and realize how self absorbed I really was and how nothing that I ever did was for anyone else but myself.(I was pathetic--really)
The decisions that I now make are focused on the lives of my children and husband and much less on myself. I now rely on my husband, my God and my Savior when I need help along the way.
I am no longer a spiritless wanderer, but a spirited leader who created a new path and a new life filled with an overwhelming amount of blessings and a joy incomprehensible.
The decision I made to be with Marshall wasn't entirely mine at the time. I definitely felt the hand of the Lord lead me to him-- no matter how ready I was or wasn't.
The day I knew I would be with Marshall forever was the first time I looked him in the eyes. His eyes were gentle, kind and sincere. He looked at me like he already knew me- but he didn't. He only knew me as his little sister's friend's little sister. But a sweet voice whispered to me that he would be my husband and from that moment on I hung on his every word.
As we celebrate the past 5 years we have spent together- I can look back and only smile. The person I was when we first met to the person that I am now are two entirely different people.
I have learned so much from being with this amazing man. He has taught me to feel,to love,to give, to be kind, to be gentle and to share my feelings with him and those that I love around me. And he loves me. A day doesn't go by where he doesn't tell me this.
I cannot imagine my life without him. He is my best friend and my rock.
Here are a couple Fun Facts about us and the last 5 years we have spent together:
-We married in the St.Paul Latter Day Saint Temple for time and eternity.
-We honeymooned in Duluth, Mn
-We purchased our home the September before we were married and Marshall lived in our home as a bachelor before I moved in the day we were married.
-I remember just getting my hair and makeup done on my wedding day and calling Marshall to see if he was getting ready as well. I was shocked when he told me he was on the roof of our house pushing off the leaves.
-If you ask Marshall how many kids he would like, he will tell you a soccer team.... that's like 12! (I say four.)
- When we were first married and would get into arguments, I would storm out of the house and never want to return. Now, I just take a nap and blame the arguments on lack of sleep. (Which is normally true)
-Our Valentines Day tradition is staying in and having salmon.
-Our lists of priorities are never the same.
-He prefers to sit and talk about his feelings... I would rather not. But have learned this is actually quite healthy to do.
- We have traveled out of state together only twice. Three times if you count when he traveled to Utah for my sisters wedding before we were officially dating,
- He sets the budget in our house and I am the one struggles to live within it.
- He is the hero with the kids. I am the bad guy.
-He prefers to stand by my head during childbirth. I wish he would take a peek so he can tell me all about it later.
- I never knew how to cook before we got married and now he says that I make the best food he has ever eaten.
-My most favorite times spent together has been when he has been unemployed. This was and still is not his favorite time.
-We played on an intramural soccer league together before we got married and Marshall would never pass me the ball.
- We both grew up with family pets but have never really talked about having one for our children.
- We no longer wrestle or horse play for fun-- because someone always gets hurt and I am not going to say who.
- We most usually never think the same things are funny unless we are giggling about the kids.
-He still tells stories that I have never heard before and love hearing them!
I could go on and on and on about all sorts of funny things about us and the last 5 years together. I can't tell you how much I have learned and grown from being married to this remarkable man. Everyone that knows him will tell you how genuine, sincere, gentle, kind, thoughtful and goofy this man is and I am so blessed to be able to call him mine.
I love you, Marshall-- To many more years to come!