Friday, April 25, 2014
A mother's guilt is real. At least it is for me. Something so real I can see it on my skin. Whether it is from forgetting to slow down from the housework and spend time on Ezra's school time, or taking too many hair appointments and not enough play dates- I suffer from guilt. I have had to constantly remind myself that feelings of self doubt aren't entirely made up of own expectations. Satan has a way of telling me that I am not doing enough, that I am not good enough-- but he is also telling me that I "deserve" my time and my freedoms. Satan is a big freaking liar. I AM doing enough, I AM good enough and I DON'T deserve anything- my children deserve all of those wonderful gifts that I am capable of and I shouldn't feel entirely deserving of any type of reward for caring and loving my children. These are MY children and MY responsibility and I will be held accountable for their progression in this life. Satan can beat it. From now on, I will use the guilt I feel to motivate me, to guide me to pay more attention to what I am doing as a parent,and to help me strengthen the relationships I have with my children and with my husband. Of course through prayer and my faith in my Savior, I can overcome my weaknesses as a parent, as a wife and as myself!
Here are a few Fun Facts:
-Picked up Eli's first pair of glasses yesterday! They are taking some time to get used to. He rubs his face a lot and his glasses are getting in the way of that. But this morning he wore them well! Only tried to take them off a few times.
-Preschool Rock on Pandora is our new favorite station for the boys.
- I am starting to worry about my brain. I am extremely forgetful and do stupid things too often to admit. I need to start taking a vitamin. (If I could remember to take it daily!)
- My hair is taking forever to grow out.
- Some weeks are better than others for my self esteem. This week I was bloated and zit faced. I hope next week is better.
- I was told this week by a friend of mine's mother that I am a "real life disney princess" this made laugh and also flattered me because I don't know of a bloated and zit faced Disney princess with hair that won't grow. I politely said, thank you.
- I am great at asking random questions for information to anyone I am curious about, but when it comes to important information that is needed to know, my mind goes blank. I desperately rely on Marshall to be there to help me. I am lost without him.
- I spent two hours with a friend this week and practically made her stare at my makeup smeared face the entire time. It wasn't until she left that I realized I had mascara all over the top of my cheeks. Too much laughing or smiling, I guess. I was so embarrassed.
-This week I only went up for seconds ONCE and took smaller portions so I could later have a dessert. I am trying to portion control and to work up to no sugar. This is very hard for me- I struggle with a very real sugar addiction.
- I appreciate and kind of expect old fashioned chivalry. I remember when I first went out with Marshall and we were walking on the sidewalk and I was on the roadside, he grabbed my shoulder and moved me to the inside. I remember getting shivers up my spine because he touched me! But really, it was because he was protecting me. ((Swoon))
-We get to have Noah again today, and of course the first thing the boys tried to do was to sit on his tummy and his face. Welcome to our home, Noah!
- Mother's day is coming up and I am so happy to be a mother.
We have a busy weekend ahead! But I look forward to it! Have a good one!
Posted by Kristy at 7:50 AM