Thunder shook the house and lightning cracked through the sky. This woke all of us up one Wednesday morning in August. Ezra's feet came racing toward our room and he quickly made his way between us while he hid under our covers. I had been thinking for a few days that I was feeling a little "familiar" and couldn't quite remember when I had my period last. As I laid in bed, listening to the storm outside, I toyed with the idea of taking a pregnancy test. Since I was already awake and it didn't look like I was going back to bed,I did. I headed to the bathroom, sat down, took the test and.... the power went out. I sat there. In the dark. And waited. The lights flicked back on and the test read, PREGNANT. It was like magic, like a special effect, like.... did that JUST happen... and thought of all sorts of crazy things. I ran to the room and shook Marshall's foot and told him what just happened. He made a funny joke about Thor being my baby or something like that and we laughed a nervous laugh together and couldn't stop smiling. We are adding one more to our family and we can't even begin to tell you how excited we are and how blessed we feel.
- Was this planned?
For some reason, I hate this question. I was just recently asked this and immediately burrowed my brows, I couldn't help it.(This pregnancy has me doing all sorts of rude things) What I wanted to respond with was, "Were you planned?" But I held back. I believe all children are 'planned' whether your own plans or Heavenly Fathers-- we are all put on earth for a purpose and reason. None of my children will be an 'accident' (a lovely surprise... sure- but no accident). I will say, however, that the timing of this baby happens to be perfect with the craziness of our lives and we feel very fortunate.
-Has this pregnancy been different?
It has been COMPLETELY different. I don't quite remember being sick the first two pregnancies, but this one has rocked me. I am still nauseous from morning to night and nothing seems to help. I haven't thrown up (except for in my mouth as I have bent over.. I am disgusting- you all know that) But upset, queasy tummy day in and day out and hoping that I find some relief soon. I have also been SO emotional. I cry over everything! I am not usually this emotional- I promise. But once I start, I can't stop.
-Have you had any cravings?
Yes! I have never craved food before and I have craved biscuits and potatoes from kfc in the middle of the afternoon to a filet mignon in the morning. I also eat everything I look at. I have already gained more weight that I want to admit. I keep telling myself that it's muscle.
-How are you still working out?
I need to! I love it and it gives me so much more confidence about my changing body and energy. I will need all the energy that I can get to keep up with Ezra and Eli this winter. And, I can already tell that I am much more aware of my body this time around. Which is so important considering I am now high risk after having two premature babies. It is early to wake up, but getting a nap definitely helps me get through the day.
-Are you nervous about delivering early with this baby?
Of course I am. After learning we were expecting, I literally, could not sleep. There was one night that I had so much anxiety, I had to sleep on the couch. All I could think about was all the things that could go wrong, especially with being home with two little boys and my super fast delivery with Eli. After meeting with my doctor, and have discussed our plans, I am a lot more at ease.
-Are you hoping for a girl since you have two boys?
To be honest, of course. but to be real, I am scared as all get out if it is a girl! What am I going to do with a little girl? What will my boys do with a little girl? If it is a boy, he will fit right in! (A girl will too, but we will definitely have to get used to pink around here.) This pregnancy has been so different that I will be surprised if it is another boy- but because of the actual statistics of having another boy, I am expecting it.
-Will you find out?
You know who you are asking right, YES! Are you kidding, I feel like I don;t have control over my life or my body when I am pregnant, finding out the gender for me gives me something to plan for and I love to plan.
-What did the boys say when you told them you were pregnant?
When I came home from the doctors office with our 8 week ultrasound photos, Ezra was curious and was asking all sorts of questions about what he was looking at. I wasn't thinking I was going to tell him right then and there but felt it was okay. I got down on my knees and looked into his eyes and said, "there is a baby in mommy's belly." Ezra's eyes got big and he gasped as he squealed, "there is!!!" and then immediately followed with, "but how!?" ----- followed immediately with.... "can it come out and play?" and then tried pulling up my shirt. I softly answered his questions the best way I knew how and he is so excited to be a big brother (again) and has proclaimed that this baby is a girl and has already named her. Eli doesn't really know what is going on, but has learned the sign for baby and rocks his arms back and forth ferociously when we see babies and especially when we walk through the diaper aisle from all the babies on the boxes and it makes me swoon. These boys are the greatest. I can't wait to have another baby just like them.
-Do you plan on having an epidural with this one since you didn't with the last?
--Uhhhh.... If I can just get to the hospital before I am in serious labor, I will feel pretty good. I LOVED that I was able to experience a natural delivery with Eli. It wasn't easy by any means, but the whole experience is something I am so grateful for. I will see what happens with this one. An Epidural was a dream with Ezra- but the recovery just wasn't as easy as it was with Eli. I guess we will see what the day brings.
-When is the baby's due date?
End of April. I am not going to dwell or think about this baby's birthday- because we have yet to make it that far. I am praying hard that we make it to at least 35 weeks again and no earlier. Babies really do need those last few weeks to develop. We have learned this in the past. It is heartbreaking to be in the hospital weeks after the baby is born. I am always more than eager to bring them home and start our lives together.
-What does Marshall think of this?
He is OVER THE MOON. Marshall is a great father and there is no doubt in my mind that he will continue to become an even more loving, caring, patient and giving father to this child as he is to the children we have now. He is looking forward to the spring just as much as we all are.
-Will you have more children?
Let's have this one first--- then we can talk about that. But I have always dreamed of having 4. We will see where life takes us. It has been a wonderful journey so far.
I took Ezra with me to hear the heartbeat for the very first time. Marshall was at work and I asked Ezra to be my date. He took our date seriously, I tried teaching him to open the doors for me and others and to even push the buttons in the elevator.He even held my hand;)
It was adorable to watch his face light up when he heard the beat of the baby's little heart. When we got home, he said, "I liked that date."I am happy I will be able to share with him these precious little moments of the life of this growing baby.
He keeps reminding us that our baby is a Spirit with Heavenly Father right now until they come to our family and he couldn't be more right. I love to imagine my future children looking down from the Heavens waiting to join our family.
Thank you for your love, support and encouraging words as we celebrate another life in our family. We are so blessed to know and have each one of you in our lives.