Monday, October 26, 2015

Some of the most important things I have learned in my 30 years.

The only photo taken of me on my Birthday- playing with my sister's cool hat

I have to say, 30 just feels right. I feel as though I am finally the age I should be for where I am at in life. I have (more) recently had to make important decisions that have made me feel more "grown up" and I suddenly kind of feel like an adult. I am a married woman of three. It's about time that I take this seriously, right?
 I've been thinking a lot lately about a few things that I have learned in my life that have been important to me and has shaped me into who I am.

 Have faith (in something) 
There was a short time in my life where my Faith was unimportant to me. In that time, I found myself searching for happiness and forgetting who I was. Today,I am grateful for my faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ and in my Heavenly Father. I have faith that through them I will be led to do their will. My faith is rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ, but others may find faith in whatever brings them the fullness that their life may need. I find that having faith in a higher power is so important to us as individuals as we search for peace and joy in our own lives as we become who we are supposed to be. I have also learned to have faith in people. It can be discouraging when you may be let down time after time by your friends, family, coworkers,etc but we must try to be patient and have faith in people, too.

 Take nothing personal
Easier said than done, right? I have grown incredibly thick skin and as I have gotten older, I recognize the things that have hurt me or my feelings and I have learned to let things go and to laugh it off. We live in a world where people are very sensitive to almost anything and sometimes to the point of ridiculous. I wish more people would us these weak moments to strengthen themselves, shake it off and move forward. There is too much to do in this world to feel sad for ourselves. (Is that being insensitive?)

 Always think of others and their needs.
Nothing makes me happier than bringing dinner to a family in need or sending a letter of love to someone who needs it. I feel the closest to the Spirit and to my own family when I am serving others and I am grateful to be able to help where I can. This is something that I have really come to appreciate recently. It took me a long time to warm up to reaching out of my comfort zone to go out of my way to do things for people. A lot of the time, it can be terribly inconvenient and "just one more thing on my list" but every time it has blessed not only me but also those that I have served and I am so happy to have been able to help where I could. Showing people that they are loved and that they matter is so important!My children ask every time I make cookies if it is for us or for our friends, because they know how often we bring cookies to friends and I love that they are learning that we do things for others more than ourselves!

 Stand up for what is RIGHT
I have had to stand tall about my beliefs before, and as awkward as it was, it was right to do. The worlds standards are not always right, in fact, the worlds standards can and will be very, very wrong and it is so important that we stand up for what is right. We came into this world good and we are capable of making good and noble choices, we must remember who we are and what we as children of a loving Heavenly Father stand for, no matter what it is. And, when doing so, we must always always be kind and loving.

You don't have to be friends with everyone
This was a hard lesson for me to learn. Nowhere does it say that we must be friends with everyone and I am grateful for that. I try to surround myself with people who will bring me closer to light vs. away, and I am blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people who do just that. I have been in situations where I felt like I needed to be more to certain people, but the relationship became exhausting and ingenuine and I knew it was taking way more effort than it was worth. I've learned that friendships aren't supposed to be like that.

Talk it out
When Marshall and I were first married we would get into arguments that usually ended with a silent treatment from me. I attended a marriage and family class offered at my church shortly after we were married and the little old lady taught, "silence is violence" and I had to laugh! It is so true! Silence was violence to Marshall! I was being unfair and unforgiving! Marshall is so good at talking about how he feels, (so much better than I) that I have learned to not shut off and storm out but to say exactly how I feel (sometimes in the heat of the moment--- which isn't the best) but I am making progress! We have now taught our boys to use their words in the heat of frustrating moments and I think I am learning more from their sweet forgiving spirits than I could have learned anywhere else.

Family is never convenient but always the most important
OH! My husband and children are the most important people in my entire life. I would lay my life down for all of them, BUT! Sometimes, their needs are so inconvenient with what we have planned. We can't get through anything anymore without someone needing another doctors appointment, or ER visit or meeting or work thing scheduled when I would much rather be doing the things I feel are important. If Marshall and I had waited to have every single one of our children for a time that would work conveniently into our lives, we would never be able to have our children. Our kids came exactly when they were supposed to and we have shaped our lives around them and it has been a rollercoaster of joy and trials, but I wouldn't change a thing. We stop and cancel everything when it comes to the needs of our family and it's not easy but important. We have learn so much a long the way.

Every trial and experience is for me. (like a gift)
This past year has been hard on me. We added our third baby, which left me overwhelmed with joy and a new added responsibility but also feeling awfully tired and sometimes bluesy. A slew of doctors appointments and hospital visits for all of us and specifically Eli have been exhausting. Doctors found breast cancer in my mother just before Mother's day that left me heart broken and terribly concerned for her health and the proper care she would receive- (more on that another time) We also can't seem to get on top of the never ending list of projects that we have for our home, which has been frustrating and patience-testing. I could go on about the hard things that I have had to personally find ways to work through, but I have never felt alone- or forgotten. I have learned so much about faith and patience and have been taught countless lessons in these trials. I am grateful for the tender mercies and the love my Savior has for me and my family through it all.

I can do hard things
Marshall will tell you that I didn't know how to cook or bake anything when we were first married. He's not lying. Cooking was daunting for me and something I didn't ever enjoy. Cooking is now something that I crave to do (with a limited use kitchen- I have missed being able to cook the things that we once enjoyed) and I am actually really good at it (with a recipe, that is) I have had to do things that were hard-- (for me) that I always able to get through because I am ABLE! I have had to self talk myself through hard situations as a mother, as a wife as a friend--- but I have been able to get through many hard things because of confidence in myself. I can do hard things! (I chant this to myself when the going gets tough)

 My twenties were packed with love, life and so many memories made. I can't imagine what my thirties will bring, but I am ready!