Friday, January 1, 2016

Looking back//

I wish I could tell you all the things that I learned in 2015, but learning to rely on my faith and to never lose hope have been at the forefront of the long list of things I had the privilege and blessing of figuring out in the last year.
My patience was tried and I know I should and could have cried a lot more than I actually did. I also should have laughed a lot more than I did. I could have tried harder to get to the gym in the mornings. I definitely should have gotten more sleep. I should have been on my knees and said more prayers than I did. And I definitely should have probably gotten out of the house more. I wish I could have done more things for more people and I wish I had more time for absolutely everything.
All sorts of awesome things happened. Like... We added a third, beautiful little boy to our mix. We took a trip to Utah, 6 weeks after Oliver was born for Marshall's sister's wedding and had a great time.I turned thirty! I am appreciating and embracing my amazing body and that it is strong and able to create, carry and give birth to little lives. I was able to maintain (somewhat) of an order in my home and in our family. I was able to teach my children...daily, little things and meaningful things, spiritual things, and silly things. I was able to hug my husband when we both needed nothing else more. My mom had breast cancer removed and through treatments, is clear of any cancer in her body. I was confronted with more than one emergency situation with my children this year and we all survived. And through it all, I had to rely heavily on my Savior, and my Heavenly Father's plan for me and my family. I don't and won't ever understand all that is laid out in the days ahead, but as I trust in Him and His work, I am able to overcome things that I didn't think I ever could. Life is hard, and I know I am never alone in it. Marshall was always the first one to wrap his arms around me an hug me and tell me he loved me. My children are never short on kisses and hugs and I love yous and I know that I am loved and that I am doing important work within my home, my family and in my life. I am grateful for every new day that I have to start new and to step a little closer to who I am supposed to become, and to also teach my children the same.
 I can't wait to see what this new year has in store for our family.
This year had so many crazy and memorable moments. Like, when Eli had the norovirus and lost 4 lbs in a weekend and as I stressed horribly for him, went into early labor, drove myself to the hospital and they had to stop it. Or when, Eli and Ezra escaped from our yard and Eli ran to the busy road and ( and an angel, I am convinced it was an angel) moved him to safety. Or how we finally have a finished basement and more space and we purchased a real television and a couch (living large, people!) The boys took swim lessons amd LOVED it! Let's not forget the countless sicknesses, resulting in doctor's visits and hospital visits, once by ambulance for Eli. And the absolute realness of sleep deprivation and functioning adequately on very little sleep. Marshall's parents left to serve a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.We even managed to sneak in potty training Eli before the end of the year, which definitely deserves to go down in the books.
My family and I survived this past (some times stormy and occasionally sunny) year. I have high hopes for the next year and a fresh start. I'm praying that it's much kinder to us than 2015, because, to be honest, it wasn't an easy one for our family. We were tried and tested to our limits and our pot of experience has been filled a little more and we have learned many important life lessons. And as hard as a year it was, we were blessed beyond measure with miracles and blessings and for that, I'm so grateful.

Here is to another year!